This was the last book I did in the Monastery. It is available on Amazon either as a Paperback or Kindle. All paperback sales go to support the monastery while the Sisters have graciously allowed Kindle sales to go to me.

Everything Changed

by Heather J. Toutant – Oshawa, Ontario, Canada

My twenty-fifth anniversary was supposed to be a special one, but the marriage ended a week before we reached it. I prayed for my husband who did not have any religious affiliation. I prayed that he would love me and show his love as described in the Bible. I had two beautiful boys who were raised Catholic. They were and still are a gift from my Creator.

I often look at the life Mary and Joseph had, and how they overcame their suffering. I believe in prayer and became involved in prayer meetings at a very young age. I had a beautiful house and a nice job. My parents lived close by. The only thing I didn’t have was the love of my husband. He looked for love outside the marriage and we became even more distant. I still prayed, but I was losing hope. I decided that I must end the marriage because he loved the other women. When I left, everything changed. My financial security, my lifestyle, my family, and my heart were broken. I had also lost my mother to a heart attack during this time. It was very difficult to go through this period of my life, but I still prayed and attended Mass and received Communion.

I became very sad and hunted for love to fill my void. I had several boyfriends. Because of my hurt and pain, I had no appetite, and at the age of 46, I looked like a 36-year-old. I was attracted to any man who would show me attention and love, but I paid a heavy price. I felt like a traitor to my Catholic faith on the inside and justified all my actions because of my losses. I still prayed and did the best I could at the time, but I was unhappy because I did not wait for Jesus to answer my prayers. I rushed ahead and did it my way, the wrong way.

Eventually, after many mistakes, I decided I could not find love on my own. I prayed to God our Father to show me His will. At this time, I was living alone in a basement apartment, losing my business, and becoming very dependent on God. I was very sad and I started to go to daily Mass, say the rosary, and to go to adoration and confession regularly. I prayed with many people and said many novenas. I was at the lowest point in my life. I felt as if I were a failure and that my life was over. I was trying to live day to day, but I cried a lot. I also prayed a lot, and Mass brought peace and Christ into my heart. I was talking to God frequently. I told Him that I would suffer if this is what He wanted. I surrendered totally to His will and way.

Finally, I met a wonderful man. He, too, was suffering from the loss of his spouse. We met at St. Joseph the Worker Parish in Oshawa. We became friends and fell in love. My prayer was answered because I never gave up on God. I am now in a beautiful house, married in the Catholic Church, and work at a job in the hospital close to my home. My husband loves me and we share our Catholic faith and our love for Jesus daily. We say the rosary and go to Mass together. He was put in my life because I prayed and God took care of all my needs. I thank God everyday for the suffering I went through because it changed my life. I just had to be patient and wait for God.