This was the last book I did in the Monastery. It is available on Amazon either as a Paperback or Kindle. All paperback sales go to support the monastery while the Sisters have graciously allowed Kindle sales to go to me.

Stubborn Excuses

by Leigh Ann M. Woodin – Georgetown, Delaware

One day I woke up and realized my life was not what I thought it should be. I had stopped using drugs, but alcohol remained in my life. Of course, that was not what was wrong with my life, I rationalized to myself. After all, alcohol was legal and everyone drank, right? I had taken a friend to a rehabilitation center and she was getting better, but I knew I didn’t need treatment that extreme. After all, she always did more drugs and drank more alcohol than me.

Oh, those stubborn excuses I had, and the awful denial (isn’t that a river in Egypt?). But slowly and surely the river of addiction I was swept up in started to veer off into a canal and I started to examine the people in my life who were overcoming their drug and alcohol dependencies. They were obviously feeling better, and I watched as they laughed and lived their lives in a much happier way. I was so jealous.

I wanted what my friends had, but how could I go to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting if I was not an alcoholic? That would not be right now, would it? My brother-in-law suggested that I go to an open meeting and just listen to the stories people told and see what I thought. Well, I did, and their stories were all horrendous—they had lost everything and I hadn’t. So how could I possibly be an alcoholic?

Then someone said that maybe if I started to pray God would give me an answer to my question of whether or not I was an alcoholic. I kept going to AA meetings and prayed every day, asking God if I was on the right path or not. I begged Him for an answer that I could not deny, something tangible. Then I soon learned that you have to watch what you pray for! You just might get it!

My answer came one evening when I was having dinner with my sister. The two of us were listening to a new and very angelic song by Enya when she left the room for a minute to do something in the kitchen. I was alone at the table eating when all of a sudden everything in the room went blank. I saw myself in a field of beautiful flowers, and I was on a path headed into a beautiful light. The light was everything that I ever dreamed of, all the unconditional love and acceptance one could ask for. It was an indescribable feeling.

The vision took place very quickly, and when it was gone, I burst into tears. My sister came to me asking what was wrong, and I was so very grateful it was she that I had this experience with. She understood. We realized that my prayer had been answered and that I was on the path God wanted me on to become what He intended me to be.
God knew my soul was dying, and in answer to my prayers, He gave me the gift of light. It has been fifteen years since my last drink, and I am eternally grateful, happy, and free.