When Doing It Yourself Is No Longer the Best Choice
My husband has always been a complete DYI person.
Remodeling a couple of homes? Yep, did that. Build a 30×30 foot shop? Yep, did that.
Rebuild an antique car by taking it down to nuts and bolts and putting it back together?
A bit challenging, but yes did that.
Cleaning gutters, painting, indoor and outdoor work that needed to be done was all no problem until age and the onset of Parkinson’s made everything more difficult and, in many cases, impossible for him.
Things progressed with greater difficulty until it became apparent that if we wanted to stay in our home my husband was no longer able to keep up with everything. The decision became imperative when getting into the house from the garage, an easy two-step access with no handrail in former times was now an accident waiting to happen.
Sometimes Asking for Help Gives Others a Way In
For my husband, this was his second marriage after his first wife died from cancer. He has a very supportive son and daughter who live nearby, but the family gathering place naturally shifted after their mother died and their father remarried. Both his son and daughter also have very busy lives, so it was often easier for family get-togethers to be at one of their homes rather than ours.
Add to that the fact that my husband, while quick to offer help, was much more reticent about asking for it. Yet it was obvious that if we wanted to stay in our home, some decisions had to be made. Once the need was expressed to family members, there was no hesitation, they were eager to help
The Project Became More Than a Project
Phase one of the “Two-Step Fix,” was assessing what needed to be done. His son has taken after his dad and while a full-time long-distance truck driver had also remodeled his home, adding rooms, remodeling and expanding the interior to meet the growing needs of his family. Carpentry, plumbing, basic electrical fixes he had learned growing up and expanded with new learning for each new project so there was no doubt he was up to this simple two step project.
Except it became much more than that. It started with a family gathering at our home to check things over and come up with a plan over a full family pizza dinner. The more the topic was discussed the bigger and better the project developed.
Expand the two-step access to a wider platform that would make the entrance more accessible and provide an easier laundry area for the washer and dryer. The single railing to the downstairs recreation room (access from the garage) needed a second railing to make it safer.
It was hours in discussion with all members jumping in with suggestions for improvements and how to make it easier for their dad and grandad safer and much nicer. I am five foot two and the present setup for the washer which was on a raised platform made getting to the bottom of the tub to grab socks and small articles a huge stretch for me. I had never minded but it was Eric’s wife who thought that could be fixed!
Letting People Help Can Bring a Family Closer
After the plan was in place a time was set up for a working weekend. The two-step access had now become a major remodel and all hands showed up for work. His son and his 14-year-old son, his daughter and her husband arrived to form the work crew.
A visit to Home Depot the night before had resulted in all the lumber, flooring, nails and fasteners loaded up into the back of the son’s truck. The guys tackled the garage project while the daughter came prepared to tackle an overgrowth of weeds in the front yard.
They worked for hours rarely stopping for iced drinks and a cookie. I had hauled in a yard chair for my husband to sit on and observe though he was up and into helping as much as he could throughout the day.
Finally, towards evening the crew agreed to a break and to go out for a meal at Killer Burger. More family members came and we all piled into three cars and headed out. It was a short but fun and happy meal and then the crew went back to work for a few more hours.
Long, long day with the major work accomplished and a second day planned to finish up.
Both my husband and I will hopefully enjoy the new remodel for years to come but even more important the bonding, love and family support has become a treasured memory. We are all looking forward to more family get-togethers at our home as well as theirs in the future.
My husband and I were slow to ask for help but sometimes all it takes is a practical need to remind us how much we need one another.
I bet you have your own stories of family or friends coming to the rescue, would love to hear them!