Beth Moore Bible Study – Day 3

Today is a struggle. A struggle to get up and get moving. Somehow the blahs moved in over night and don\’t seem to want to leave. The dishes are waiting to be washed. The dining table looks like the discount table in a basement store. Don\’t know what to do with something? Pile it here. Office back to its normal state of mass confusion. It\’s hopeless. I\’m hopeless. I need a maid.

Ate three chocolates and didn\’t make a dent in the blues. Should make a cup of coffee and break it up. I know the biggest reason for this is the weather change. I am like a barometer when it comes to mood and weather. Cloudy and rain – aim for the nearest bed and burrow under. Confession? I already took a nap and it didn\’t help.

And to match the mood of the day – even Beth Moore\’s bible thoughts for today don\’t seem to break through the fog. Bible study by oneself is boring. That\’s the truth for me. I like to be in a group and listening to everyone\’s thoughts even if I don\’t come up with any of my own.

But perhaps this is exactly where I am – Beth\’s thoughts today are about power. The power of the Holy Spirit like wind rustling through the world with the force of a typhoon. Poosh! Blast! Swirl, twirl and thrust.

And then she includes this quote. \”The wind blows where it will.\”

You know that is the thing. I want the wind to blow where I want it to blow, in the way I want it to blow and when I want it to blow. What\’s with this  wind having a will of it\’s own that\’s not mine? What\’s with God\’s spirit not being under my control? That can get downright scary. You know the quote, \”Surrender to God and He will do everything for you?\”It sounds wonderful and I would love to have God do everything for me . . .  I just don\’t like to practice the surrendering part of it. The sit back and wait for it. The do the daily duties and get em done till the Lord comes type of thing.

I want the show to begin!

I want what the quote I used from Beth\’s study for the day to fill me and make me aware of God\’s great activity in my life. \”I long to be keenly conscious of God\’s power and presence.\”

I\’m too full of my own thoughts. I\’m running on Patty fuel not God fuel. No wonder the day is too heavy for me to push through it.

But how do I change this? How do I drink from God\’s well and be filled with God\’s life giving water? Pray a rosary? Read some scripture? Be still and know that God is near?

At the church where I am secretary we are all burdened by an accident that happened to one of our members on Tuesday. Nancy was driving down the country road she has probably driven a zillion times but this time something happened. Perhaps one of her wheels slipped off the road in a moment of distraction, we don\’t know but suddenly the movement from pavement to gravel spun the car out of control. We think then perhaps that she hit the gas pedal instead of the break. One minute the day was calm and the next it was life-threatening. Her car smashed into a tree, wrapped itself around it and rolled on its side pinning her underneath.

God was there, he always is. Help came. She was helicoptered to the nearest hospital and yesterday she made it through the first of a series of surgeries. But oh my goodness how her life will be changed from this moment forward. How her family will be changed. How we all are changed by these few seconds that turns everything around and inside out.

So there, perhaps that is what I needed to deal with and speak about. The feeling of helplessness when someone you know and love is thrust into a REMIX of life and the rest of us, the side liners don\’t quite know what to do about it. How to deal with it. We are all so interconnected with each other. What happens to one member of the body affects us all.

The feeling of helplessness can become a burden of hopelessness unless we step back and give it to God.

I want to be a fixer. I want to be able to make everything better. Smooth things over and put a cherry on top. But I can\’t because life is too big and too hard and too immense. It\’s only God that can do the things that need to be done. To make the crooked ways straight and desert to bloom.

Be still, be still, be still.

God\’s mighty power is here. God\’s love is present in my life and in all life. No matter the darkness of the moment God can and will break through with light and joy and gladness.

Somewhere in the Old Testament there is a line that fits for this. \”You have to do nothing but be still\”something like that. Oh! Here it is. I had to use Bible Gateway and find it. The quote is from Exodus 14:14. \”The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Got to remember that. Let the Lord fight for me. For you. For Nancy. I need only to be still.

Surely I can do that? I hope.