Giving with Kindness
It is not so much what we give but how we give that matters the most.
I have been embarrassed and humiliated by some gifts I have received. Whether the feelings gendered were real or imagined the gifts felt burdensome. Like I was obligated to be grateful. As if I was somehow less than the giver by receiving what they offered.
And perhaps this was not the intention of the giver.
Perhaps it was a projection I put upon them because I was embarrassed to be in need.
But whatever the case not all gifts are wanted or appreciated.
In my opinion I think it is the responsibility of the giver to bring honor and love to the one being given.
If we are not giving out of love we are not giving.
Making Giving a Business
I have read a number of articles that promote giving as a business practice. The theory is that it encourages the receiver to respond by buying something. We have a built in psychological fix that if we are given something we should respond with a gift.
The free pen, a couple of greeting cards, name labels, etc. are all gift hooks for triggering that, “Oh my, I should donate, buy or subscribe!”
I don’t have a problem with that to a point.
Truthfully I love free stuff.
But after one hundred thousand free offers to donate, join or pay up, the psychological trigger wears thin. If I do subscribe for a bit I usually find that I don’t stay very long because I feel trapped with the increasing offers that follow the “gift hook.”
So I delete until the next wonderful, amazing, free offer comes along and I take the bait again.
Giving with Love shouldn’t be like that
I am not a parent but I think in some ways we all need to be mother and father “gifters” to the world.
Giving because there is a need and we have the resources, time or ability to respond.
Giving because we want the other person to have something for no reason than we want to please them.
As humans we have a built in “want to be liked” factor. Giving someone a smile, a compliment or a small gift is a nice thing. A good thing.
Friendships are started this way.
Relationships are built and nurtured this way.
Giving is good. We need more of it.
It just needs to start with kindness.
- Planted some new flowers along driveway
- Finished a book
- Making a new dish for dinner – Gingered Pork and Peas Oriental. Will see how it comes out.